Interracial love making

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Boyfriend likes other girls photos on instagram after I’ve asked him to stop.

2020.09.21 19:23 Vaughanflowers Boyfriend likes other girls photos on instagram after I’ve asked him to stop.

My boyfriend (21) and I (21) have been dating for 2 years now. Our relationship has been great. Amazing actually. He’s been overall good to me. Has never been verbally or physically abusive. We never really have conflicts and on the rare occasion that we do, it’s NEVER serious just little bickering. When we do have disagreements we talk it out and it’s overall a very productive talk. We both are there for each other emotionally. We give each other our space. We don’t share passwords and we hang out with each of our friends and over all I’m very happy with him. He’s says he’s very happy with me. His family likes me a lot and our relationship is very comfortable and there’s lots of love and the sex is amazing for all that matters. He’s a conventionally attractive male and I’ve been told I’m attractive as well and it’s something I’ve always heard all my life. Not to toot my own horn but it’s usually one of the first things people bring up (you’re so pretty!!) and I’ve gotten a lot of opportunities on social media because of my looks. But even with all of that I’m still a little insecure sometimes. Specially recently on gaining a small bit of weight in unflattering areas. We’re also a interracial couple (he’s a white male) with all his ex’s being white women and me being the only person of color. A part of me always fears of him going back to a white woman if we ever break up. (I’ll explain why I’m mentioning that below) It’s silly I know maybe only interracial couples know what I’m trying to say.
I’ve never had to really question him or his intentions though at least not till now. I always get likes on my photos of guys with girlfriends and part of me feels bad for the girl because to me it’s pretty disrespectful to like other girls photos specially bikini pictures or pictures with captions like “he’s with you but he wants me” (not that I post that) however I’ve never liked the idea because I can see from my perspective that I often times pitty the girls because it just doesn’t look right specially after their boyfriends spam my account or like every single post and don’t even like their own girlfriends post. I’ve also heard from other girls “damn he’s with her but he stays liking my pics” it can definitely be a lot more than it is in the girl world. Specially when the guy is attractive to most girls like my boyfriend is. So to the point of this. My boyfriend liked a couple pictures of very attractive girls on Instagram in the end of our first year together. Not influencers but locals. I let him know I really didn’t like it and explained to him that it made me feel insecure and he “stopped”. Then instagram took off the liked photos option and so I don’t really know if he continued or not until I was on my explore page and saw a girl that was pretty and as soon as I saw the picture I saw he had liked it and it turns out it was somebody in the area. It was also a bikini picture so I got pretty upset and I went through all the girls on his following list and checked to see if he liked any other ones and sure enough he did. It was also in the span of a couple days. I know that behavior is a bit toxic and it made me feel really ashamed of myself but the fact that I found what I was looking for well it justified it for me. I confronted him about it. I was really upset because a little while before I had confessed to him my deepest insecurities about myself. I cried in front of him and he himself even got a little teary eyed and comforted me and to me he seemed to understand. I nearly broke up with him that night because I felt so betrayed. Mostly because he knew how much it would hurt me to see that he still did it without even considering my feelings. Specially a photo of a white girl with a great body in a bikini that literally lives in the same town as him. This happened in august maybe, it’s now September and last night I had a really bad dream. I woke up and to try to sleep I went on instagram and saw he had a photo up so I went through his likes because I noticed he got more than usual and something in me told me to look at the first account of some this girl and so I did and I saw her first picture with a petty caption something similar to “you like me more “ some bullshit like that and he sure enough liked it. After almost breaking up not even a month ago after he cried to me and told me he didn’t want to loose me he decided to completely disregard my feelings and do it again. He liked it with a caption like that. He even promised he wouldn’t the second time around. I ask him if it was such a big deal that he just HAD to like another girls picture and he said no. But he did it again. It’s always white blond girls too and that doesn’t help my insecurities from being an interracial couple. By all means I am not envious of white women in general. They’re beautiful but I love being a latina and we’re all very beautiful and he doesn’t fetishize that in me. He would date anyone of any race I just can’t help but to notice it’s always blondes (he says he doesn’t even like blondes that much). Why does he feel the need to have to like their picture s even if that means causing an argument. We do share our location for safety reasons and she is from a further town away he sometimes visits but honestly I don’t get the inclination that he’s cheating on me. I don’t think he would ever do that honestly. When I asked him why he says “I don’t know I’m an idiot” that’s his answer all the time. I ask him to talk to me about it to let me know if maybe he doesn’t think liking a picture is a big deal. Maybe if he just told me that then maybe I wouldn’t be so upset when I see it but the fact that he just plays dumb is so upsetting to me. Also the fact that he knows how much it hurts me to see that and at this point it’s not even about the girl it’s about the fact that I’ve asked him to stop twice and he’s seen how hurt I’ve been by it and he still does it. It makes me question myself. He says he loves me. He shows me he loves me. We have such a great relationship and I’m so happy with him but it’s just this that he does that really just makes me question everything. It’s making me feel more suspicious more jealous and I know that’s toxic behavior and I don’t want to be accusing him of stuff because I know that’s not fair to him but I just don’t know why he does it even after I’ve asked him to stop because he will absolutely not tell me. He just calls himself an idiot. I want to fix things but he can not communicate with me on this one thing. He said he wouldn’t do it again but at this point I don’t believe him.
Should I be this worried? Am I overreacting or being controlling?
I try my best to be the best person I can be to him and I try to be confident and give him space and not be controlling whatsoever but I just feel like this is hurting me and in the long run it might be the fall of our relationship I’m scared it might happen again. I’m scared that if I keep forgiving him he will just do it again and again until I bug off about it. But it really doesn’t sit well with me. It really does upset me and I don’t think it’s too much to ask for because I can very well use social media without liking other pictures of attractive men so what is so hard about that?
submitted by Vaughanflowers to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

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2020.09.21 10:31 ThrowRA_InstinctSync I (26M) broke up with my former partner (20F) about a week ago, and we are looking to get back together

Dated a girl for almost a year. And I broke up with her a week before what would have been our one year anniversary. She battled depression and anxiety during that time I got to know her, all of which I had learnt to deal with or at least help her cope with it. We were making progress in our relationship and we'd still have fight but one day we decided she needed to seek professional help. Which she did. This worked for sometime and things started to fall back in place until I realized how I was losing focus of myself and well being, including mental health. I'm became a bit depressed and lazy as we'd cuddle all day and just go out to eat and watch movies till we pass out, and repeat cycle. I realized how mad I was at myself for not focusing on my goals and ambitions and I knew what the problem was. Here's a little description of the relationship in point form for some of the things to consider when giving advice on this whole situation
- Interracial couple - Different religions (I'm Christian, she's Muslim) This didn't bother me it only did as she was thinking along the lines of getting married with me in the future and I would have to convert, which I would not do. And she won't convert either. If she runs away to marry, she gets disowned by whole community. She would have to leave country as well cause that gets as serious as death threats. And this is something I do not want for her. It's too much of a sacrifice on her part and I can't marry someone whose parent/community has cursed us in a way. - Her widowed parent is racist and wouldn't allow a person of color to date/marry her daughter
ok that's that... now to the other bits
Started getting annoyed with the little things she'd do that normally wouldn't annoy me on a regular day until one day when she was pushing my buttons and I broke up with her. This time for real. I say for real because I called it quits so many times when she would threaten to kill herself and then self harm. This was only hard to deal with as she lives far and her depression would heavily kick in when she's not staying over with me for days or a week. So we'd only talk on the phone and I would give her that ultimatum. If she hurts herself I'm leaving. Tbh it was already toxic at that point. The love felt conditional for me, and I also felt trapped. Like the only reason she's not self harming is because I threatened to walk away.
I started meditating, going to the gym and trying to eat healthy again. Basically I became in tune with myself and my goals. Then the day she came to collect all her stuff I saw a changed person. Vibrant and alive. I told her what I've been up to and how I was trying to take care of myself to recover from the mental pressure I was secretly battling. How I bought a plant and taking care of it.
Then I learn that she's doing the same. She started taking better care of herself. She no longer has bad self image about her body. Says is trying to eat healthy and all. Basically I was looking and talking to the kind of girlfriend I had wanted all along, the one I saw when we first met before I learned about all the abuse, bullying and depression it caused. I was in too deep but not to say I wasn't in love.
I never block or ghost a girl and she said she has had breakups also and would just block me but she couldn't go through with it. What we had was something I never had with any other person and that was the same for her. I guess I fell in love with potential until I couldn't take it any longer, if only i waited.
We share our meditation experiences and updates on our well being but It's limited communication to once a day or so. if she doesn't message I won't go out my way to reach out. Basically once a day. Short messages, very platonic and straight forward. It feels awkward, but we didn't ghost each other.
We scheduled a meet to talk about a possibility of getting back together but I am confused. I'm afraid the same things will come back and haunt us as I know habits are hard to get rid off. I'm afraid the same kind of pattern is happening again where I put down an ultimatum and saw temporary change. I hope it's not a short lived change as I have already changed and set my goals in stone. No one comes before my vision unless they are adding to it. Any advice please?
And I'm sorry for my story telling skills, they need work. Thank you for any insight on this.
TL;DR [Broke up with former partner. She changed (or is showing signs of change) and is now more positive and dealing with depression a lot better. Should we get back together?]
submitted by ThrowRA_InstinctSync to relationship_advice [link] [comments]

2020.09.19 09:47 lifelongstudent2003 My story...

Betrayed after giving my ex a second chance and lost on how to find closure and move on
I (20F) took my ex (23M) back and reconnecting with him was so exhilarating, he told me how sorry he was about last time and how he regretted it (we only lasted a month the first time). Note: I’m sorry if this is long but the story is messy and at the very least an interesting read so thank you to anyone who gets through the whole thing. We met on tinder and had instantaneous chemistry, we got along great (one of the main reasons he came back to me along with him being very fond of my appearance according to him). He was the one who initiated everything, he asked me out and only four days into knowing me he told me “the more I talk to you the better I feel.” I developed feelings for him and thought he did too by how much he talked to me and was attracted. He even deleted tinder a week into knowing me. The first time we FaceTimed it felt so natural, there was no awkwardness, and our personalities just clicked and we were both attracted too. I’ve never had sex before but this was the first guy I wanted it with (even though we never got around to that).
He ended it coldly out of the blue one day telling me that I lived too far away (were 50 km apart) and that he didn’t feel the same way, he was just being friendly, he didn’t reciprocate, he didn’t want to date me, I was too clingy and annoying, he didn’t have his own place, and that he just wasn’t interested in me anymore. Worst part is that he did it through text but I begged him to call me and he relented, but he told me that after that I want to move on. The phone call lasted an hour where I cried and he yelled and told me that we wouldn’t work. After the phone call I texted him a selfie of me flipping him off and he asked me “if I changed my mind again would you give up now?” And I said “omg you’re seriously doing this again?” He said “I am attracted to you” and “I said I don’t want a relationship right now.” I told him he hurt me and that I wasn’t his bitch. He told me that when he was ready we could meet but he’d only do it when he says and on his own conditions. However, at that moment we agreed to give each other space and I guess I wanted to cling onto the tiny bit of hope that he would stay. We didn’t talk for a few days aside from sending each other songs. Ultimately, he told me that he made up his mind and that he wasn’t interested and that he didn’t want to meet anymore. I just couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye so I asked him if things changed in the future would he want to meet me. He said he would for sure. I told him that’s why it’s better to leave things open ended. He agreed. The last thing I said to him was okay well text me some other time. And the last thing he said was okay. He never did (well not that I expected).
After this text conversation I screamed as loud as I could and cried my heart out. It felt like my heart was cut in two, it was the first time I experienced a break up and he was the first guy I fell for. It was very painful for me and I cried for months on end. I felt like there was an empty hole where my heart was supposed to be and I was just terrified that it was possible for me to love someone this much. I don’t know why I feel this way about him but I can’t seem to shake the feeling that he’s my soulmate despite the negatives on the virtue of the way he makes me feel alone. I tried to move on and I think I got there halfway, I accepted that the distance was something I couldn’t control and that he wouldn’t come back. The most painful part of my breakup with him was not even the fact it ended but never being able to see how it would turn out. I was deeply hurt by all the what ifs and how we could’ve been great together but circumstances fit in the way. 6 months later I download tinder again and 20 minutes into using the app, I see that he’s swiped right on me. I felt completely shocked, my heart literally skipped a beat and I cried myself to sleep that night. I left it for a few days not wanting to swipe left or right, but 4 days in I realize that it’s his birthday today. I swiped right on midnight and messaged him saying I remembered his birthday. The next morning I wake up and see, “it is and thank you for remembering. We should go out officially now. I have my own place as of next week. I’m very sorry about last time, I realized I kind of fucked up, you’re a keeper and I’m glad I found you again. I’m really sorry I didn’t take you for granted. I really want to be with you.” He asked me if I wanted to take a shot and be together. I told him “ugh you know I can’t say no to you.”
I just couldn’t believe that the guy I never thought would come back, came back. And so strongly and intensely too (he was flirty with me before but in a relaxed and reserved way). He finally showed me a side of him that was emotional and vulnerable. He told me that he loved me and that he wanted to build something real. I asked him “where was this side of you before then?” He said, “good question, I’m not sure.” He was very intense (a change from his relaxed, chill attitude from last time), he talked about us being meant to be together, how beautiful our future children would be, moving in. He constantly flattered me and always praised my appearance and told me that I was special and different from the other girls in his past, because “I cared about him unlike the other ones.” He was also very sexual and he would always discuss his sexual desires and get me to send nudes so he could masturbate. He did however say that he’s just speaking his mind and that I don’t have to do anything. He did ask me if I consented. I don’t know why he wanted them because he watches porn daily (particularly milfs which doesn’t match my body type). I welcomed this because he made me feel desirable and helped him carry out his fantasies. He texted me all the time and we had such an amazing connection. He even said that he was willing to drive four hours to pick me up and drop me off to his own place (which he never wanted to do before). The honeymoon phase eventually started to ebb away but he still seemed into it. I made him promise me he wouldn’t change his mind because I didn’t wanna relive the past and he swore he wouldn’t and would do whatever he could to make it work. We never got into arguments the first time but there were a few problems starting to emerge. I got upset with him when he refused to add me on Facebook because according to him I was too nosy and I would ask him too many questions about his past and things he wanted to forget. I was hurt by him not wanting me there and I suspected he had something to hide. He repeatedly denied having something to hide and he said it was because I was too nosy. We argued about this back and forth but he still refused (even though he told me he wanted to make up for last time by giving me “whatever my heart desires”).
This act didn’t sit well with me and it started to create resentment for him in me (a feeling I didn’t even know was possible to have with someone I’ve loved this much and have wanted to badly). Another thing I have to mention about him is that he’s had 10 exes (longest one being for a year), slept with 20 girls, and he’s only 24. A part of me felt really flattered that he would choose me above all the others (he told me that I was special and he cared about me a lot because I cared about him unlike the other ones) but the other part of me saw this as being a red flag. I don’t know if it’s unfair or not because he was young and not all the relationships were serious but it made me wonder what the issues were on his end. Another thing that became a huge problem was his refusal to get tested. He told me from the very start that he prefers unprotected sex because of the intimacy and pleasure. I got on the pill for him. One day we started off as any other day (happily and lovingly), I told him that I dreamt of us the night before and we were just so happy in it. He said that was so sweet of me and that he couldn’t wait to see me.
He then had to go back to work and I went to go do my own thing. I stumbled across an article on sociopaths in relationships (I was irked by the timing and felt off about things especially with the social media stuff) and it discussed all their habits such as love-bombing, subsequent emotional withdrawal, and instability. I started to wonder if it was all a lie and if I was manipulated this whole time. I became kinda afraid of him and a little worried for myself. I started to secretly resent him (I never thought this possible but I’m proud of myself for achieving such a feeling towards him if that makes sense) but I didn’t wanna break it off because I’ve made good memories with him and am still emotionally attached (which was why I took him back). A couple of hours after the “dream” conversation and reading the article, I decided to test him (we were planning on meeting two days from that point and had been taking for three weeks), I told him that I missed a pill. He immediately texted back saying I needed to set an alarm. I then told him I fell asleep before taking it. I asked him, “are you seriously blaming me for that?” He said, “yeah I am. I wanted to see you but you changed your mind and didn’t take the pill like you were supposed to.” I then proceeded to tell him that I wanted him to get tested or we could have condom sex the first time. He said he would rather wait a month because raw sex was important and it wouldn’t be the same otherwise. I was worried about his refusal to get tested and he got really mad at me for missing the pill and for interfering with our plans so soon before meeting. He told me, “Jesus Christ I’m mad. I wanted to see you but now I’m getting frustrated with you. I was supposed to see you this week, just fucking do it and stop worrying about stupid shit! This stupid shit is keeping us apart. Fucking stupid. That’s why I get annoyed. If you told me this was a concern earlier I would be more understanding.” I told him I was caught up in the excitement of reconnecting after so long and wasn’t thinking of practical matters. He said, “you don’t trust me? I have no diseases or anything, you’re not going to get pregnant, just trust me here please.” I said it was risky to have raw sex right now but we could still meet if he wanted to. He said “okay let’s meet then.” To be fair, he never said we had to have penetrative sex the first time meeting, I was the one who kept that up because I wanted to lose my virginity and I wanted to show him I cared by letting him get something out of driving so much. He then cut the conversation abruptly and told me that he wasn’t going to get tested during coronavirus and risk getting sick. Although, he repeatedly asked me when i was going to figure out the birth control and get on the pill. I was really upset by how I did something for him and he wouldn’t for me. I asked him if he still cared and he said, “I’d care more if you just trusted me and met like how we were originally supposed to.” I told him that it wasn’t safe right now and my dad was sick (this was in mid-March while quarantine started). He said he understood and we’d make it work and we’d find another time to see each other.
I asked him when he would get tested and he got really annoyed saying that he was really upset with me cancelling on him and how this stupid shut was keeping us apart (“if you want to be with me then just see me and go with the flow”). I told him that I was willing to wait and that he didn’t want to get tested while coronavirus was a thing and risk getting infected (I can see his side of this so I don’t know if it’s a red flag or not). He was anyway very adamant about not having any stds and he told me had no symptoms and hadn’t had sex in a year. I just let it go in the moment but this along with the Facebook thing resurfaced in a few more arguments. One night after another argument he said that he had to be honest and said that “I dong know if we’re a good match lol because we fight and argue a lot.” I said “yeah we do” and then he said “all i want is for me to see you and you forget the testing and Facebook and all the other bullshit.” I told him we could see each other he said to leave it at that then. I was starting to have doubts but I couldn’t bring myself to end it (I have a habit of clinging onto good memories) but he showed me a side of him that I didn’t know about. I could surmise he was selfish because the way he walked out on me the first time was very cold due to the way he did it. I’m glad he came back because I finally got to confront him about it. He told me that he said all those things to get me off the phone because I was very attached and he had to let go at the time because he couldn’t see a way to make it work without having his own place. It was nonetheless a very selfish thing to do, it negatively impacted my mental health and I constantly thought about how confusing it all was and became obsessed with the situation.
Some background knowledge on my ex: he comes from a middle-class white background and grew up in a stable family environment. His parents were married until his mother’s death and I am fairly certain he has a good relationship with his family, however he did say insulting things about his sister in law, how she’s annoying, how he would never want a woman who acts like her, and very selfish. I don’t know what this woman is like so I can’t say if it’s valid or not. I also must mention that he only likes women of colour (brown and Asian girls not black women). He always praised my facial features like full lips, brown eyes, and light brown skin tone. I asked him why and he said it’s probably because of interracial porn or that he doesn’t like women who look like his blonde blue eyed mom. He has a university degree and a stable job and now his own place. I’ve talked to a few people who knew him as friends and they all said he was quiet and a friendly guy. However, he was always very bold and talkative with me in our FaceTime conversations. I’ve asked him more than once if he is bipolar and he has always denied this. He always got really upset whenever I brought up what happened last summer and he said that we can’t talk about it constantly or else he can’t do this. He also said that he can’t give me an answer I want anyway because he can’t remember what happened, yet he remembers random details like how I like wearing jeans?! He’s also slept with 20 women and has had ten ex-girlfriends, mostly having unprotected sex and he does not get tested after every new partner. He hates using condoms because he says that he doesn’t enjoy sex with them and they break on him because he can last up to an hour. He is intelligent, eloquent, well-spoken and has studied criminology in university and hopes to become a police officer. He should probably be familiar with personality disorders then. Do people like this know they have a problem? Another random thing is he told me how a video game storyline (red dead redemption 2) made him cry and think about life afterwards. It’s just so strange to me picturing this man cry, so I guess he isn’t afraid of feeling his emotions. Another thing that doesn’t sit well with me at all but I could be overanalyzing, I did some research and I found his mother’s obituary she passed away on March 22nd, on March 27th he uploads a selfie (in which he is wearing a tux so I’m assuming is for the funeral) smiling with the caption “rip momma.” I thought this was a really strange thing to do, if this happened to me I would certainly never post a picture of just myself. He also used this picture as a profile picture for many years and on his tinder and bumble profiles. Why would he do this?
One day (I guess I just finally had a breaking point because of thinking about all the old and new emotional baggage) and I texted him saying that his refusal to get tested was a serious problem for me and that if he didn’t want to get tested he could go find someone else who would have raw sex with him no questions asked because it wouldn’t be me. He texts back two hours later saying “alright that’s what I’ll do then. Take care.” Immediately after he responded waves of regret began to wash over me and I told him I changed my mind and I didn’t want him to leave and I really wanted to see him in person and not repeat last time. He agreed and said that “as long as you don’t bring up the Facebook or testing again.” I wasn’t happy about this but resigned because I didn’t want him to leave. The next day he texts me making small talk (our usual) I’m still very resentful of what went down the night before but didn’t want to bring up the testing or Facebook for fear of pushing him away again so I involuntarily unleashed my frustration and anger towards him in other ways. We started off talking about shows and our day but we eventually started to veer off topic to language and politics. He gets really mad at me for calling him sexist and objectifying me. He then very rashly says “I will block your number. I don’t think we should be together anymore. We never have good conversations.” I told him that I was shocked he would say this as we’ve had great times too. He told me that from now on we shouldn’t text as he gets very bad vibes from texting. I told him I wanted us to go back to normal. He said that everything can only be in person or FaceTiming.
Our conversations become less and less frequent and he refuses to FaceTime as he keeps telling me that he’s busy and too tired all the time all of a sudden. Naturally I become suspicious and find out that he’s rejoined tinder from one of my friends. He stops initiating any texts with me and I became really sad. I decided not to confront him through text about it because it would be better to do it in person. One day I just couldn’t take his silence and asked him what’s wrong, he said nothing’s wrong and he just needed space right now. I try to resolve our issues with him but he tells me he doesn’t want to talk. So I just leave it and become more resentful for being lied to. One day after like two weeks of not talking I ask him if he wants to FaceTime tomorrow afternoon he says, “okay I will try, I promise.” I text him the next day at the time we agreed to talk and he texts back hours later saying “sorry I took a nap lol.” I send him paragraph after paragraph on how he’s hurting me with his neglect and that we can fix things as long as he puts in the effort. He doesn’t respond and two hours later he texts me a paragraph saying that this wouldn’t work anymore, he doesn’t think were a good fit, he’s just not feeling it anymore, and how he’s kinda been talking to someone else lately too and he doesn’t want to lie to me. He also says the reasons it didn’t work the first time (with the distance) are coming back to him now. This is what angered me he promised me that if I took him back we wouldn’t go through that again. But I wasn’t gonna let him off the hook that easy this time, not after all his grandiose promises. I beg him to reconsider and to see me in person before writing it off. He reluctantly agrees but still doesn’t initiate conversation anymore. I just gave him space after that outburst for a few weeks until a few days ago where I texted him calmly about our problems. He responds saying that his only problem is that I sometimes overwhelm him with messages and often asking the same questions. I ask him to promise me to try and meet in person before my birthday in four weeks. He says he’ll try but it could be difficult with the quarantine. I ask him about the other girls and he says he’d rather communicate these things in person and not through text. I’m honestly not even jealous or mad about this, only sad. I used to feel so jealous of the thought of all the girls who were with him or will be with him but now I don’t. I guess this means something as I’m not resentful in that respect, but I don’t understand why I feel jealous. Is it not even because I’m moving on but I’ve been conditioned by him to be used to bad treatment?
One day I messaged a girl he was mutuals with on social media asking her if she could show me his following list and send me screenshots because I was hoping to find answers through other girls he may have talked to as he never gave me any. I wanted to know if he talked to them the same way he talked to me. The girl told him about what I did and he got very angry, he told me that he doesn’t care anymore, wants nothing to do with me, that it was very creepy and intrusive and that he’s done. He said coming back was a mistake and that he wishes the best for me and he’s sorry if he hurt me in the process. He said that he’s with someone else now and has been seeing them for a few weeks (I don’t think this is true not because I don’t want to believe it but because I saw him on tinder the same night this happened, I have a strong feeling he said this so I would let go like how he told me he wasn’t interested in me anymore last time). But either way all that matters is he doesn’t want me anymore. He said he’s pissed at me and this is the last straw. He said I’m annoying as shit, creepy, super clingy and we need to move on. He blocked me.
Did I mess up by contacting her? What would’ve happened if I hadn’t and we met in person? I’m regretting what I did because now I have to live with what ifs. However, I do know he treated me unkindly and I let him for those few moments of temporary happiness. I know deep down we have too much bad blood to have a future together now. He’s so unstable. He broke his promises. He told me I was special and different from all the others in the past. He showed me a lot of sincerity and vulnerability when he came back and I believed him. It’s hard to move on when this is the first person I had feelings for and he treated me like this. What do I do with the memories? The good ones and the bad. At this point I don’t know which is more painful.
I’m grateful that I never lost my virginity to this guy and never got into a real relationship with him because if he walked out on me after that I don’t know how I would’ve dealt with it. I wrote him a letter for closure, is it wise to send it? At the same time I want to to help me move on and at the same time I don’t because I don’t want to close this door forever. I don’t want to be with him, he doesn’t want me but I also don’t want to not be with him and I keep wishing that we met in another life, another time, another place, where we could be happy. I’m worried I’ll never be truly loved and that I’ll never truly love again. I really did love him selflessly and unconditionally. But he didn’t. I knew I cared more than he did but still I kept on letting him in because I hoped he would properly fall in love with me too.
What hurts is how he told me how happy he was to find me again, how it was destiny, how he was hoping that we were meant to be together, he was so crazy about me in the beginning and yet he still had no problem hurting me. I don’t understand how people change their minds, how their feelings change so quickly. I wish I could move on as easily as he could. But I know I’ll have to. I just don’t know how or when. Will someone like him ever truly love anyone? I wonder if he’s ever experienced proper heartbreak before,the kind where you feel as if your heart has been ripped from your chest and miss them beyond belief. That’s how I felt the first time he left. The second time, I had my doubts too, about his character, about his past, the fact he had so many exes, and how disrespectful he was to me before. I tried my best to look past it because I didn’t want to leave someone I loved so much and felt so connected to. I’m worried he’ll always be a part of me, that I’ll always look for his shadows in other guys. He said he was committed and because we had a few fights about him not adding me and getting tested, he started believing we were incompatible. Looking back, he didn’t care about a special bond or connection, he just wanted someone who would be agreeable and fulfil all his demands. These ‘connections’ are disposable to him.
It’s just hard to accept that this time it’s finally over. Or it may not be because of his track record. Why are some guys are like this? Does he have mental health issues? I always suspected it. Or is he just too broken to love? Or is he not capable of it in the first place? Do people like him even feel guilty about it? Do you think he’ll feel regret for losing someone who truly loved him? He did last time. What will happen in his future relationships? Is a guy like this ever capable of lifelong love? How do I move on? The first time he left all I did was cry for weeks reminiscing about the good times, the sweet things he said, the connection we had. This time I feel numb and in shock. I can’t think properly. I feel like a part of my brain is in shock. I don’t know what to do and I worry about him being my only soulmate because I’ve never felt this way before and worry I won’t again for anyone. I’ve tried dating other perfectly acceptable nice, funny, attractive (better than him on paper) guys but no one compared to the connection I had with him. Do I just have Stockholm syndrome? Am I just a love-bombed woman? I don’t think he was lying to me about his feelings, I think it was real in the moment but I slowly pushed him away because of my emotional baggage (which he caused anyway). But the fact that he was able to throw away something meaningful over such little things just shows that it never meant much to him. How do I reconcile what my brain understands and what my heart feels? How do I get over this? Being betrayed so deeply? Having promises that he was here to stay, that he just wants to love me and make me happy, that he’s committed completely broken? How will I deal with the trust issues that come from this? Is it really true that people always remember their first love, even if it was toxic and ended badly? Will I truly move on? Should I send him the letter for closure? Or is there some way I can find it on my own? How will I know when I have moved on?
This is what I wrote in the immediate aftermath of the breakup. I had a complete breakdown and honestly went insane for a bit. That feeling dissipated pretty quickly this time surprisingly enough, and I was normal (although sad and angry) after like two weeks. On May 31st in the evening (5 days after my birthday and three weeks after our breakup) he messages me the most tone-deaf delusional thing ever. I honestly wonder if he’s trying to trick me or something because it’s so ridiculous, it can’t be serious, right? I wish I could understand his depraved, narcissistic brain. He wrote, “Hey, Which of the people associated with me on Facebook and Instagram did you message about me? Please for my own sake of mind let me know as some of them are ignoring me or not responding to me now I just want to know. Thank you” (I must note that he left out the period at the end and his word choice was very repetitive, I feel like with him I need to psychoanalyze every little thing). I don’t understand why he would send me this, what could be the meaning of this? What reaction could he be hoping for? I know for a fact that the girls I messaged about him don’t talk to him because they told me this. I also know that he didn’t “find someone else” when we broke up. I know that he wasn’t with someone else when he sent me that, but I know that he was looking for a replacement online. I’m not sure how to respond, it’s been four months since I ghosted him and now that he’s kept me unblocked, I don’t know if I should use this opportunity to get the last word in and tell him how awful he is. I am past the stage of being sad and wanting him back. I never felt jealous interestingly enough and I actually feel sorry for the next woman who he will mistreat. I do however want revenge and I want to make him suffer as he made me suffer. Please help me analyze my mental state and his mind and behaviour. I have never felt more alone and empty.
submitted by lifelongstudent2003 to u/lifelongstudent2003 [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 21:30 SEC_Couple Are we intimidating or just doing this thing wrong?

I am M [44] and my wife [44] have been in the LS for just over 2 years. We are educated and have some success in our careers. We both come from some very humble backgrounds but have worked our tails off for all the things we have and the strength of our marriage. We seem to struggle with online meeting but we don’t give up. Meeting in person is much better for us however.
We are humbled with everything we have yet we are very grounded and down to earth. We are witty and humorous and love to put jeans on or shorts and go to Applebee’s or a sports bar. My wife literally buys all of her clothes from the goodwill or a thrift store.
Here comes the issue. We love to host because it usually is convenient for everyone, especially those with kids. When we do, we make sure we have refreshments, finger foods, drinks, and anything else that makes our partners comfortable and relaxed. If we host at a hotel, we get a suite for comfort. But we make sure that we have snacks, drinks, fruit, and everything else.
We don’t consider this going above and beyond, we do it for ourselves as much as it is for our play partners. These things dates are not just sex.
However, after we invite people to our house or host at a hotel, people fade off. We finally got a couple to give us some feedback and they said “you guys are out of our league”. That comment hurt because we are everyday nothing special people. However, I am not nor will not be embarrassed about our house or how we host. We built this house for the purposes of entertaining.
My question is, is this a real thing in the LS? Are we just doing this thing wrong? We stopped inviting people to our house for that purpose. We don’t pick the restaurants anymore (a date told us they felt like an imposter in a restaurant we picked once). We are an average looking interracial couple.
Any feedback, suggestions, or experiences with this is greatly appreciated.
submitted by SEC_Couple to Swingers [link] [comments]

2020.09.18 20:43 Kujo17 What is "Patriotic Education "? In response to the impending executive order from trump Jeff Sharlet breaks down what people can expect, and highlights why this is something every American needs to be aware of. To say it's a chilling read, in my opinion , is an understatement.

Jeff Sharlet is a published author, and this post was originally a Twitter thread made by him, the original link can be found here and was converted via ThreadReaderApp- hence the formatting and spelling choices.
"Patriotic education" is Stephen Miller's fascism + Mike Pence's fundamentalism. Some years ago, I took a course in "patriotic education" for my book THE FAMILY. I spent a season reading its textbooks & talking to its teachers. Here's what to expect... A thread.
It'd be cliché to quote Orwell were it not for the fact that fundamentalist intellectuals do so w/ such frequency. At a rally to expose the “myth” of church/state separation Orwell was quoted at me 4 times: "Those who control the past control the future." 2/
1st time I heard Orwell quoted at a patriotic education rally was from William Federer, author of America's God & Country, which then had sold 1/2 mil copies--cherry picked, distorted, & fabricated quotes for students "proving" U.S. founded as Christian nation... 3/
"Patriotic educators" teach that Jefferson's wall of separation between church & state is misunderstood. It was meant as a "one-way wall," Federer claimed, to protect church from state, not the other way around.4/
The first pillar of American fundamentalism is Jesus; the second is history, and in the fundamentalist mind the two are converging. We heard that at the White House "History" conference, the notion we need more Christ in our schools, that our past is Christian... 5/
"Patriotic education" is a fundamentalist concept. Just as fundamentalist religion supposes that divine truths are literal & determined by (white male) authority, so fundamentalist history discards the ongoing work of knowing the past. 6/
"Patriotic education" proposes, as did the White House conference, that the Constitution is divine, "god-breathed," as some say, & thus impervious to expanding ideas of rights. That's the religion behind Clarence Thomas' constitutional "originalism." It's false.7/
Textbooks already written for "patriotic education"--those used in Christian nationalist schooling--emphasize Northwest Ordinance of 1787, which declared “religion” necessary to “good government” & thus to be encouraged through schools. This is cherry picking. 8/
The Christian nationalists aren't wrong that Protestantism was a central part of education for much of U.S. history. It wasn't until the 1930s that public ed veered away from biblical schooling. Because the 1st amendment. Because liberty of conscience. 9/
When I began reading the Christian nationalist school curriculum over a decade ago, it was already being taught to more than 10% of U.S. kids. That number has grown, a lot. It's big enough now to make a bid for control of least some public schools. 10/
The modern Christian Right--without which there would be no Trumpism--began not in national politics but on school boards. Those elections matters. The Right knows that. Those dismissing "patriotic education" as 2020 tactic are themselves ignoring history... 11/
A popular jr. high "patriotic education" textbook begins: "“Who, knowing the facts of our history, can doubt that the U.S has been a thought in the mind of God from all eternity?” Trump, ystrdy: "the fulfillment of a thousand years of Western civilization." 12/
That's from a textbook called "The American Republic for Christian Schools," published by Bob Jones University Press, a major Christian nationalist education publisher. You may remember Bob Jones as the fundamentalist school that banned interracial dating until 2000. 13/
Emphasis at White House history confab on private property. Here's a Christian nationalist high school econ textbook: “One must never come to see... free market as an end in itself. [It] merely sets the stage for an unhindered propagation of the gospel of Jesus Christ.” 14/
"Patriotic education" likely wldn't exist w/out a man named Rousas John Rushdoony--the most radical Christian nationalist & "biblical capitalist" you never heard of. He thought of himself first & foremost as a historian, "correcting" secular, socialist education. 15/
Rushdoony taught the modern pioneers of Christian nationalist ed to teach "providential history," such as the “Protestant Wind” with which it says God helped British defeat Spanish Armada so that the New World would not be overly settled by agents of the Vatican. 16/
Rushdoony also established as bedrock Christian nationalist history idea that secular democracy is defiance of God--that real democracy means submitting to God's will as expressed by his "chosen one," the strongmen He puts in power. Sound familiar? 17/
"History is God's working in man," the director of a popular Christian nationalist education publisher told me. In fact, he preferred to call U.S. history "heritage studies." Trump loves that word, "heritage," too. (Maybe it has something to do w/ the $413 mil he inherited?) 18/
"Heritage studies," or "patriotic education," is a cult of personality. History matters not for its progression of “fact, fact, fact,” Michael McHugh, a pioneer of modern Christian nationalist ed, told me, but for “key personalities.” It's the strongman view of the past. 19/
Trump ystrdy spoke of history as an "unstoppable chain of events"--culminating in him. This isn't a '20 campaign tactic. He's been talking "history" more & more for over a year, chipping away at Rushmore's remaining raw granite to add his name, his "key personality." 20/
Trump doesn't need to know the particulars of Christian nationalist "history" to make it point to him. He surely doesn't know John Witherspoon, the only pastor to sign the declaration, from whom Christian nationalists derive a kind of "democratic" divine right to rule. 21/
Another "key man" already established in the Christian nationalist schooling that's the basis for "patriotic education" is Trump's fave general, MacArthur--fired by Truman for almost sparking WW III. That's who "patriotic ed" wants our boys to be. 22/
If "patriotic education" wants our boys to be "violent men [who] take it by force," as a popular Christian nationalist Bible verse puts it (Matthew 11:12), what does it dream for girls? That they be subject to what Christian nationalists--& Stephen Miller--dub "chivalry." 23/
Another "key man" in "patriotic education" is Sgt. Alvin York, a WW I hero repurposed by Christian nationalism as the greatest Christian sniper in U.S. history. "God uses ordinary people," teaches the lesson. Reminds me of a popular Trump t-shirt I saw reporting ralies... 24/
"Patriotic education" proposes he greatest "key men"--Washington, Lincoln, &, now, Trump--as divine. Popular Christian nationalist art often depicts them attended by a ghostly Christ or angels; & texts offer "proofs" of their chosen-ness. This is also known as "fascism." 25/
During Iraq War, Christian nationalists erected 100s of billboards depicting a U.S. soldier backed by a ghostly Washington. Now it's cops, heroes in nationalist imagination of a new war, backed by angels & patriotic ghosts. 26/
As w/ Texas state legislator other day, "patriotic education" repackages defeats--the Alamo--as victories & men who renounced U.S.--Confed. generals--as American heroes. "America" in nationalist imagination isn't united; it's "red states," it's whatever strongmen say it is. 26/
"Patriotic education" has always meant preparing for war as a lens through which to view world, whether the Civil War then or a prospective one now. "Boys, are you ready for warfare?" asks one homeschooling video, "Putting on the Whole Armor of God." 27/
Such terms come straight outta R.J. Rushdoony. Christian nationalist apologists, "responsible" conservatives, insist Rushdoony was fringe. & yet he was in many ways father of 2 major ideas: Christian homeschooling, & "providential history"--aka modern "patriotic education." 28/
This gets wonky: Rushdoony in turn studied a turn-of-the-century Dutch theologian Abraham Kuyper. Kuyper was complex--but 1st Rushdoony, then Watergate felon Chuck Colson, & now today's Christian nationalists--twist his thought into a proof for nationalist education. 29/
They take Kuyper's idea of "presuppositionalism"--in essence, subjectivity--as proof that neutral governance is impossible. Then they declare that subjectivity an objective "fact" to conclude that govt can only be for God or against him. Trump on Biden: "against God!" 30/
Even tho he was an anti-Catholic Christian nationalist, modern "patriotic ed" pioneer Rushdoony loved JFK's rhetoric for its framing of U.S. as a redeemer nation (JFK: "God's work must be our own.") So, too, QAnon now cherry picks JFK for prophetic proof of Trump's glory. 31/
A big part of my course in "patriotic education," like Christian nationalist education in general, was consumed by Stonewall Jackson--who got more ink in U.S. History For Christian Schools textbook than even Lee, much less Grant (forget all about Douglass).32/
A nationalist magazine called Practical Homeschooling used to (& may still) offer instructions for Stonewall Jackson costumes in honor of his birthday. A text called Stonewall Jackson: The Black Man's Friend is--well, hell, do I need to explain how f'd up that is? 33/
What's up w/ Stonewall Jackson & Christian nationalist education? The modern version partly began w/ him, when Rushdoony discovered a forgotten bio that framed him as fighting NOT for slavery, or the South, but the supposedly Christian ideals of the founders. 34/
Within "patriotic education," Confederate generals like Stonewall Jackson aren't the traitors they objectively were, they're men who transcended partisanship in the service of Christian ideals. Christian nationalists do denounce slavery, too. Lotta cognitive dissonance. 35/
"Cognitive dissonance" is maybe a good place to pause this thread on Christian nationalist roots of Trump's "patriotic education" initiative. My 6th grader's remote classes are over; time for homeschooling. We won't be studying Stonewall Jackson. 37/
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2020.09.18 19:23 throwawaymjs My(21F) sex drive is extremely higher than my boyfriends(22M)

Background: So my boyfriend and I will have been together for 4 years in October. We’re interracial(He’s black I’m Native American, if that even matters) We have lived together for about 3 years, we have 2 kittens and a dog. We have a strong relationship, typically good communication, we are committed to one another, we already have future plans and talk about them but of course like to enjoy the present time. Like every relationship we’ve had ups and downs, but work through it all and commit.
To get to the point: we’ve always had such a great sex life. Of course at times not so great. He had a problem with porn for a while but completely cut it out for himself and I. We like to change things up and fulfill our fantasies. Earlier in July we were having sex about everyday, and I LOVED it. But august hit, and it was like 2-4 times a week, still okay! Everything was still great and he reciprocated everything and had great foreplay! But then this month... it’s like once or twice a week or not even at all. And I’ve been the one to always initiate it for the most part. And when it does happen, I’ll give him super good head, but he won’t reciprocate and then we just have sex. And sometimes when I do he rejects it and gives some excuse, which makes me feel so undesired and just a feeling I hate feeling. It gets extremely frustrating. And I find myself acting upset towards him about it. We talked about it last night and he said he just hasn’t been in the mood lately but still finds me sexy and attractive, which okay that’s fine of course. But in the back of my mind I’m like he’s probably just getting off to other women and watching porn again, which isn’t okay with our boundaries. Or he just doesn’t find me attractive anymore or he’s bored with me. Idk.
So the advice I’m asking for is, how do I stop feeling this way? How do I try to help his sex drive?(I wear lingerie for him, we have a bunch of sex toys for both of us). How do I maybe even lower my sex drive?? I know I could always masturbate, but it’s not the same as sex at all and I honestly don’t even like doing it.
Sorry this was kinda long but If you read it all and can offer me any advice or input, it’d be greatly appreciated!!
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2020.09.18 02:52 jotting_prosaist A Commentary on the Misinterpretation of “Notes on Racial Phylogeny”

by Radia Uta-Reen Serius, Master Healer of the Temple of the Divines, Solitude
Over a long and storied career, a master of Restoration will meet many myths, misconceptions, and outright lies about health, illness, and the nature of the mortal body. The less we say about counterfeit contraceptives and venereal curatives, the better. Yet I take particular umbrage with the persistent misunderstanding of race— specifically, racial phylogeny.
The Imperial University’s Notes on Racial Phylogeny is now in its seventh edition, and has enormous circulation among academics and laypeople. There may be no more widely read and widely misunderstood book in the medical tradition.
Upon my recent arrival in Solitude from Wayrest, I made conversation with the Imperial census agent processing my passport. As he stamped my papers, he grumbled about the last family to go through: a Breton and a Redguard, he said, accompanied by three children. They refused to list their children as anything but mixed: Breton and Redguard, they insisted, despite the census agent’s demand that they check only one box on the forms. In the end, after much argument and the threat of imprisonment for falsifying Imperial records, the parents resentfully claimed their children as Bretons since the family lived in High Rock.
Given that the census agent still held my passport, I murmured sympathetically that I did not blame him for the delay. “It’s frustrating how impossible some people are,” he snapped. “You’re either one or the other!”
And yet— this is simply incorrect. Many ideas about racial phylogeny are.

1. Children inherit the race of their mother

While studying at the Arcane University in my youth, one of my classmates was an Altmer whose family line was of some significance, as he often declaimed. He was not shy, either, about expressing his opinion on the bloodlines and kinships of others. He took particular exception to an Altmer woman who owned a well-known pastry shop near the University, and who had recently borne a daughter. When I at last questioned his vitriol about this woman’s apparently slatternly nature, he explained that she had muddied the Altmer bloodlines by bearing the child of an Imperial man. Surprised and offended, I demanded why he didn’t express similar opinions about his own cousin, a young Altmer man of good breeding who (as we had heard from letters on which he gossiped) had recently impregnated a Bosmer lover in Valenwood.
It wasn’t the same situation, my classmate explained. His cousin’s dalliance had been inappropriate but also commendable, in a way; the Bosmer lover was pregnant with a Bosmer child somewhat improved by Altmer heritage, and that could only be a boon to her people. Meanwhile the Altmer shopkeep had borne an Altmer daughter with human blood, which degraded the race. In his mind, neither of these children were mixed-race: they were simply what their mothers were, with better or worse influence. When I dogged this line of logic to its source, he cited Notes on Racial Phylogeny.
I set aside the question of “improvement” or “degradation” of bloodlines. The fact is that my classmate’s belief— a very common one— is absolutely not supported by the text that he claimed as a reference. The oft-misquoted line from Racial Phylogeny is thus: Generally the offspring bear the racial traits of the mother, though some traces of the father's race may also be present.”
The text describes only a general pattern in the physiological traits and appearance of mixed-race offspring, and it leaves plenty of room for variation in that pattern. It makes no claim that “race” as a whole is passed directly from mother to child. It also does not state, as some may relatedly misinterpret, that in some cases “race” as a whole is inherited from the father instead.
Again: It says that physiological traits of offspring are generally similar to those of the mother, with variation. It says nothing of the "race" of the offspring.
Exactly as a child of two Altmer may inherit more of the appearance of their mother than their father (or more of their father— or a mix of both— or the features of a distant grandsire), the physical inheritance of an Altmer-Imperial child will be predictable but subject to variation. How we as a society choose to categorize the child’s “race”— as Altmer, Imperial, or otherwise— is a separate matter.

2. Race is a concrete and unchanging category

While working as a journeyman healer, I attended the birth of an infant to a Nord father and a Bosmer mother. Both were baffled and distraught that their newborn daughter, while healthy and perfect in every way, did not greatly resemble her mother. She had the skin and hair colour of her Nord father, as well as a nose so prominent that its origin was unmistakable even in infancy. They could not suspect that the infant belonged to someone other than her mother, as both had been present for the delivery. Indeed, when a relative wondered aloud about the possibility of this baby having been switched with another, the stressed mother snapped, “I pushed her out of my own body and then put her on my tit, I think I’d have noticed someone playing a damn shell game.” At the same time, the child did have her mother’s pointed ears; a little later the child opened her eyes and revealed unmistakably Bosmer eyes with golden irises and black sclera.
But she was supposed to have been the image of her mother. How could this be? Was something wrong? What was their child? Both having an oversimplified notion of race borne from broad misquotation of Racial Phylogeny— and perhaps an attachment to certain notions of race that they had not heretofore confronted— they struggled to process that they had created a child who was visibly not like either of them.
Eventually I was able to convince them of the simple answer: this was their child. Again, exactly as Racial Phylogeny explains, “Generally the offspring bear the racial traits of the mother, though some traces of the father's race may also be present.” Physiological inheritance is not cut and dry; it will vary, to a greater or lesser extent that we cannot determine. Their daughter’s appearance was not an impossibility or even a singularity, merely a unique variation.
But if the physiology of individuals can vary so greatly, how do we categorize them? What is the race of a child with the ears and eyes of a Bosmer and the coloration of a Nord? Will our opinion change if we discover she has inherited her father’s magical resistance to cold? Her mother’s resistance to diseases and poisons? Both? Will it change if she herself tells us that she is a Nord or a Bosmer? Or both? Neither?
Racial Phylogeny has no opinion on the matter. This text, while concerned with the descent and classification of various “races,” does not actually assert that “race” is a concrete or unchanging category. In fact, quite the opposite.
The majority of the time that the word “race” is used, it appears in quotations to highlight its disputed or unreliable nature. The text refers to “all ‘races’ of elves and humans” and “cases of intercourse between these ‘races’ [e.g. Orcs, goblins, trolls].” It directly says that “race” is an imprecise but useful term.” When Racial Phylogeny is at its core so concerned with the connection between various groups of people— the descent, change, and ongoing interrelation— how can the fluid nature of “race” not be apparent?
We need look no farther than the existence of the Breton people to understand this. Bretons are the descendants of Nedic and Aldmeri ancestors. The earliest individuals were likely seen simply as mixed race, or, impolitely, “halfbreeds”: the name “Breton” is derived from “beratu,” the Ehlnofex term for “half,” and a few references to “Manmer” exist in older texts, outdated even by the Third Era. Yet today Bretons are their own “race,” as distinct and concrete as a “race” can be. A Breton is not a halfbreed, a manmer; he is a Breton. (Unless someone chooses to dig up truly ancient history as an insult.) The only differences between this established “race” of people and an incomprehensibly unique Nord-Bosmer child are a large population and a great stretch of time in which society changes its opinion.
If mixed racial heritage is so ordinary, why might we see so few people claiming or displaying it? Racial Phylogeny gives one possible explanation: the difficulty of claiming parentage of the “wrong” race. Showing signs of the time in which it was written, the text asserts, “Surely any normal Bosmer or Breton impregnated by an Orc would keep that shame to herself, and there's no reason to suppose that an Orc maiden impregnated by a human would not be likewise ostracized by her society.” Even in today’s society there are many situations in which it could be difficult or even perilous to claim certain parentage. Safer by far to say that one’s coloration or facial features are mere quirks of chance. And individuals with the rigid attitude of our Imperial census agent likewise do not make it easy to claim two ancestries, two natures. Or, more complex yet, an ancestry and nature that defies categorization.

3. Certain races are demonstrably unable to interbreed

During my time in the Imperial City, I was told a story that demonstrates the danger that a misunderstanding of Racial Phylogeny can pose. From the story that was related to me and the court records that I pursued to confirm it, the situation was thus: forty-six years prior, an Imperial named Erio Balba fell in love with an Orsimer woman named Grashua gra-Dush. Erio’s family disapproved so strongly that he ceased all contact with them. The pair did not legally marry, reportedly due to strong dissuasion by the Temple of Mara (which the current head priestess found shocking and denied— but this was decades before her time). Erio and Grashua had a son, Narus, and lived together happily until Erio’s early death twenty-one years later.
In the course of necessary legal procedures after Erio’s death, Narus stood to inherit his father’s properties and money; however, Erio’s estranged family suddenly attempted to block the inheritance. Their assertion in court was that Narus was not Erio’s true son but a bastard or impersonator with whom Grashua, still unwed, was attempting to unlawfully seize Erio’s assets. Their “proof” was the common knowledge that Orsimer and men are incapable of reproducing, and the fact that Narus much resembled his mother in physiology. Despite Narus and Grashua’s arguments, the judge Flautus Ulpio also “knew” that Orsimer and men could not reproduce. He cited (but did not quote) Notes on Racial Phylogeny in his decision. Narus and Grashua were denied all rights to Erio’s property and money, which went to the family Erio had repudiated decades ago. As both Grashua and Narus are now dead (also far too early), I give their names so that the facts of this legal travesty may be confirmed by all.
In all my life I will never understand how Racial Phylogeny can be so misread on this point. Over and over, the text admits its uncertainty about possible interracial couplings. On the matter of Orsimer and men it says, “The reproductive biology of Orcs is at present not well understood,” that “there have been no documented cases of pregnancy,” and that consequently “interfertility of these creatures and the civilized hominids has yet to be empirically established or refuted.” The text’s bias reveals exactly why such research was difficult, and why any happy couples, expectant mothers, or mixed-race children might not wish to reveal partial Orsimer heritage to the Council of Healers or anyone else.
In other cases Racial Phylogeny is equally equivocal. I cannot summarize its position any more effectively than to quote: “It is less clear whether the Argonians and Khajiit are interfertile with both humans and elves. Though there have been many reports throughout the Eras of children from these unions, as well as stories of unions with daedra, there have been no well documented offspring.” Even while acknowledging numerous reports of mixed-race offspring, academics must reserve judgement until they have hard evidence. The highly differentiated physiology of Khajiit and Argonians is explored as a possible point of evidence towards incompatibility but is by no means a conclusion.
The matter is the same in regards to virtually every other known sentient “race,” including “goblins, trolls, harpies, dreugh, Tsaesci, Imga, various daedra and many others”: “there have been no documented cases of pregnancy.”
Only in one case does Racial Phylogeny make a definitive statement about the possibility of interracial reproduction, and it is in the affirmative: due to the hermaphroditic nature of the Sload, “It can be safely assumed that they are not interfertile with men or men.”
Consider, now: How many times in the last decades have legal decisions been made on the basis of such misunderstood text? How many people exist whose mixed heritage could categorically disprove these misunderstandings, except that society and its institutions are not ready to accept them?

4. “Race” is a key determinant of other factors

I now permit myself a slight discursion from dissecting the text of Racial Phylogeny to explain why it is so important we have a proper understanding of what “race” is— and is not.
We have already seen how misunderstanding “race” can result in prejudice, social conflict, and miscarriages of justice. There are still other ways that it can lead us astray.
Recently I was in discussion with colleagues at Solitude’s Temple of the Divines about the varying religious beliefs of people across Skyrim, particularly in regards to the influence and intermingling of multiple cultures. A colleague confidently explained, “Mixed race children take on the race of their mother, and would thus go to the afterlife of their mother’s people.” This was apparently derived from the eternal misunderstanding of Racial Phylogeny.
Racial Phylogeny makes no statements about the theological implications of mixed-race children. Cultural and religious practices, including those that will influence the fate of a soul after death, are not transmitted by blood. The daughter of an Altmer and a Breton, raised only by her Altmer father, would learn only the customs he wished to pass on. The son of Dunmer raised by Argonians in Argonia would inherit an Argonian way of life regardless of the beliefs of his birth parents. The child of a Nord and a Redguard might grow up with a unique blend of beliefs based on the syncretized cultures of both parents. A pure-blood Khajiit from a family that had lived in Hammerfell for five generations might have more of a connection to Hammerfell than the lands and customs of their great-great-great-grandparents. It is impossible for us to draw conclusions about an individual’s religion (or culture, or politics) based solely on their apparent “race.”
Once more, when erroneous thinking influences legal systems, it can cause great harm. During my time at the Temple of Kynareth in Whiterun, I heard a particularly egregious case of injustice and sacrilege on the basis of “race.” The complainant was the son of a Dunmer father, both formerly of Darkwater Crossing. As a result of the current political conflict, his father was killed (the son would give no further details). The Imperial forces responsible for disposal of the bodies then summarily sent the deceased Dunmer’s remains across the eastern border to Morrowind. There— as the distraught son discovered when news of the death reached him and he was forced to frantically pursue his late father’s remains across borders— the body was summarily cremated and the ashes interred in a communal pauper’s ashpit at the Temple of the Reclamations in Kogotel. The remains were now inextricable from their resting place with the poorest and least loved of Dunmer, a place of dishonor so low that even the New Temple could not fully do them honor, only forestall spiritual unrest. Worse yet, the funerary rites performed by the New Temple were entirely improper for the deceased: he had been a lifelong follower of the Nine Divines, and should have been buried beneath the protection of the Three Consecrations of Arkay.
By using race as a basis to make such incredible assumptions about this mer’s birthplace, home, and religion, Imperial bureaucracy condemned his body to improper burial, his soul to an uncertain afterlife, and his family to loss upon loss. If the mer was executed, he might have been asked about his wishes beforehand, as even criminals have a right to proper funerary rites; if he was caught blamelessly in an armed conflict, answers to his identity might have been sought in the local area. Both are more logical solutions. Instead, they shipped a mer’s body entirely out of the country because they thought it should go “where Dunmer are from.” This cannot be the first or only time it has happened.

5. Conclusion

When myths about Notes on Racial Phylogeny and its conclusions are so easy to disprove with a careful reading of the actual text, why then do they persist? Are we fools? Are we willfully ignorant, or constantly careless in our scholarship? Do we all have an axe to grind that requires us to use misrepresentations of “race” as a tool?
Far from it. We simply trust that others are telling us the truth when they pass on “common knowledge.”
I understand: Race makes people easy to categorize. It allows us to draw quick assumptions about their origins, their cultures, their beliefs. Yet these assumptions are too often oversimplified, too often wrong. And even for simplicity’s sake, why should we wish to follow the path of fools and bigots who paint every Altmer, every Dunmer, every Khajiit— every member not of their own beloved people— with the same sloppy brush?
In some instances, as Racial Phylogeny admits, “race” is an “imprecise but useful term.” We may need to speak in generalities and draw broad conclusions. We may, as in the case of our Imperial census agent, feel the need to classify people within a rigid system of data that allows no flexibility or overlap. But let us not overuse or overestimate this tricky idea of “race.” And for the Divines’ sake, let us stop misquoting Racial Phylogeny.
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2020.09.16 02:03 closetedlesbiangirl Have you been in an interracial relationship and would you be in one?

As a latebloomerlesbian of south asian origin i wonder if there are many interracial lesbian relationships. Ive been on dating apps and i don't want to say its based on race but i notice i don't get many swipes and friend requests as i send out.If you are in such a relationship would you make your partner feel special and beautiful even though she doesn't fit the mainstream idea of beauty and probably faces multiple levels of marginalisation. I think both partners should do that for each other.i have a white fwb she tries to show she is into me and likes our contrasting colours when we lie side by side. Sometimes i just feel like im an exotic sex toy even though she probably doesn't intend that. Sometimes when i ask her if we can do something special or if she could do something special for me she calls me needy. Is romance and sensuality something that is not desired anymore in today's world?
I like to do special things for her and buy her things. I work in the medical field so i help her with medications, appointments and i also help her friends. Somehow things seem off balance. She also helps me when i need help with fixing things. I don't want to leave her at the moment as she is the first person ive been completely sexual with and im in my 30s. I have this connection with her and her kids. I want to be there for her but i worry in the end she may get bored and leave me. Which is fine that's upto her. Ive just been conditioned with this view that if you care/love for someone you're there for them during tough times as well as good times. Sometimes she is present with me and does special things other times she prioritises her friends, interests over me even if ive driven many hours to visit her. Ive had to move few hrs away for work. Isnt a partner meant to want to spend time with you if you come to visit them from far? especially if she has got things for u and the kids. rather then do all their errands and have time for you in the middle of the night.i wish she would engage more in issues affecting me like with family/cultural issues, be out about us and give this relationship another label and be a safe place where i can vent. Maybe i expect too much. I like women of all background especially caucasian girls but i feel like its a one-sided love and not mutual at times. It sometimes sucks being a double minority who discovered herself late in life. She too is a latebloomer lesbian previously in relationships with men. For me she is my second relationship and first non long distance one.
Guess im just looking for tips to help me getting her to understand me and maybe have some more initiative.
submitted by closetedlesbiangirl to latebloomerlesbians [link] [comments]

2020.09.15 17:39 squeakanonymouse I (30f) feel like my relationship of almost two years with (m30) is coming to an end but neither of us are ready to let go yet

This is a long story so thank you for reading. I'm also doing a voice to text type of thing on my phone so please excuse any typos or confusions.
I love my partner of almost two years and he loves me. We live together and he moved several states away from home to join me in my dream city but he doesn't like it here. We've been living here for a year - he has made a couple friends but not many and the city we live in now doesn't have a big dance scene, which is what he is really into. He is a pretty good partner, and I think that our relationship in general is good but there's some issues that I think are pretty big that I don't think we can get past. But to continue with the good stuff first, he is really great with my cats, when we have discussions about cleaning the house or my boundaries, he really listens and steps up. Right now I'm in grad school and he's not working, so he's been doing a bit more cleaning and trying to support me in that kind of way. He's not very emotionally intelligent or just .. not emotional in general, so he makes up for it in doing nice things; doing things that will make things easier for me. Anyway, he is very loyal and trustworthy, he's funny and has a great smile. I love how his smile is so big and his eyes crinkle up. We used to have really good communication up until a few months ago, which I will talk about in a paragraph below. Some of the things that I love about him are things that I really respect in him and wish that I had within myself, like how passionate he gets about his hobbies and how he's willing and able to learn and teach himself to do almost anything. Also, he really thinks that all of our issues can be fixed and he wants to work on them.
The biggest issues: 1) we are an interracial couple in America. Im white and he's black. We have both dated outside of our races before this relationship. I know that every relationship is different, but every interracial relationship that I've had, of course race has played a role but it didn't dominate the relationship. Honestly it's pretty hard to explain. As a black man, he worries about his life on a day to day basis. We have a lot of really in-depth conversations about race and his blackness. He says frequently how he'd never been in a relationship that he could be vulnerable and really talk about these things until us. Every other person he was ever with would either dismiss him or just not want to talk about it or get really defensive. I have a lot of education on race relations, plus I make sure to educate myself often on my own. Most of my friends in general are not white so we talk a lot about race and human rights and microaggressions and all that. Sometimes when we have arguments though, I feel like he is villainizing my whiteness. I'm the type of person who admits when I'm wrong, always trying to learn more and will acknowledge any microaggressions or anything that I might have that I don't even know I have. He has gotten frustrated with me because I'm not more outspoken when it comes to race stuff. But I'm just not a very outspoken person. I'm quiet and I like peace. I express my support in quieter ways. If I go to a protest, I will be in the crowd but I'm not the type of person who will Step up to the front. Maybe that's cowardice, but I'm just a subtle person. One time we were arguing about how I didn't feel like he was doing enough around the house, this is when he had no job and I was working two jobs. I was saying that to even out the relationship I would like him to clean more and during that argument he said that I make him feel like an indentured servant. He didn't say slave, but it was the implied. It was very hard. The issue was eventually resolved and he definitely contributes a lot now, but it's this idea that he was kind of using racialized language against me to suit him.
2) Besides my racial privilege, I also come from a weird financial situation. Basically my parents make no money and I grew up with the anxiety that we will run out of money, but at the same time my grandparents set up a smallish trust fund for me,and with that I was able to buy a house and still have a little bit of a cushion. I'm definitely not a millionaire and I live in the south so it's not like this house cost $200,000 or anything more, but I totally acknowledge that I'm very privileged financially and lucky to have no debt. Besides my house, my education, and my car, I have worked for everything I have. I survive off of my paychecks. I've worked multiple jobs at the same time, I've worked 14-hour days, I've done a lot so that I would be generally financially independent. Part of my financial privilege is that I've worked a lot of jobs that don't pay a lot of money but have not needed to struggle financially. My boyfriend comes from a background where he had been homeless once and his family has always struggled financially. I think he thinks that he will never be able to get out of that poverty cycle. When we lived in his home city, the city we met in, he worked very hard but had a job that he didn't like. But he at least got paid decently for it so I guess it was worth it for him. When he moved down to the city that we are in now, it took him a while to get a job and it was a big point of contention. He is very stubborn and prideful, and will only consider taking certain jobs if they pay enough. We live in a city that doesn't pay well for any job, and he also doesn't have a driver's license, doesn't have a car, doesn't have a bachelor's degree, etc. Which are fine except it narrows his options and usually the options he has are either labor jobs which he doesn't want or other shitty jobs that he doesn't think is worth it. So he would rather be homeless than get just any job. For me, I would work any job, no matter what it was and how much it paid to not be homeless. Please reread those last two sentences. He oftentimes says that I'm not owning my privilege or basically just throws in my face how I never had to struggle, so I don't understand him. So that's really fun. But anyway, during the pandemic he lost his job that he didn't like anyway, and has been living off of unemployment. He does some video editing and some side gigs that give him a little bit of extra money but it's not enough to really live off of. The amount of unemployment that this state gives us is very minimal and will probably run out soon. In my house instead of paying me rent, he pays the utilities and we split groceries and other household stuff. A lot of times I will pay maybe 2/3 of the groceries, so that it takes off some financial burden from him. But it's just the fact that he is so picky with jobs when, not to sound terrible, but beggars can't be choosers. It makes me worry about any type of future with him.
3) for the past 6 months we've been living with a crazy person. I've made some posts about it in the past (not all on this account). She actually ended up moving out a week ago and it has taken a lot of stress off of both of us. He really hated her and she hated him. I was in the middle but she also was verbally abusing us, doing all types of passive aggressive stuff, rude, disrespectful, enjoyed talking and arguments instead of conversations, and acted like a child (she's 55) but would patronize me by calling me a little girl when she was angry. I have videos of her moving and touching our stuff, screaming at us and calling us all kinds of terrible things, damaging my house. She really is a psychopath. Honestly I don't really want to go into it much more here, but it was a huge challenge and really strained my relationship. I ended up going back to therapy because of how much anxiety I was having. during the time of her moving out, we had to call the cops on her because she was stealing some of my stuff. And now that she's out I have to get a restraining order from her because she has gone on to my property a few times even though she doesn't live here anymore. And the cops have done nothing. Super unhelpful. During these five and a half months, boyfriend and I were arguing a lot about little things and some big things. as I mentioned in the first paragraph, we used to have a good communication but from both of us just being so stressed and depressed and angry about our living situation, our quality of communication has suffered. Basically before, we had disagreements and conversations, and after we have arguments, a little bit of yelling but not a ton. Never anything physical.
4) If he can't find a job in the city we live in, he has talked about moving back home. He wants to do a long distance relationship but I don't think I want to because he would be in his home city for an indefinite amount of time. And I lived in that city for three years and it was the most depressing three years of my life. I really hated living there And although it's a great place to be a tourist, I would never want to live there again.
So anyway, these are really big things and I truly believe that the relationship is coming to its end but he doesn't want to give up. each time we have a disagreement or an argument he's always like well relationships have arguments, every relationship does. But I just think these things are too big. Just incompatibilities. But I love him and he loves me a lot too. In general, I like our life together. I've never been in a relationship where I felt so sure or secure about someone. We do so much for each other. I don't actually want to break up but I know this isn't working anymore. It sucks. He knows I'm unhappy about us.I also never broken up with anyone before. I mean, I've ended casual things but I've never ended any serious relationship. And I just can't stand the idea of us breaking up and him leaving.
Tldr: a few big incompatibilities between boyfriend and I. I should end it but I don't want to. And he doesn't want it to be over either.
submitted by squeakanonymouse to relationships [link] [comments]

2020.09.14 05:52 FamersOnly Bay Area Wedding Planners?

Hi all,
I'm starting to research wedding planners. We're tentatively planning for 2022, so it's by no means urgent--I just want to get my bearings.
Background: We're a queer, interracial couple (both bi women, my FW is Filipino and I'm white), so it's important to us that we work with someone who's sensitive to and experienced with those things--we aren't really interested in being a planner's first queer wedding, first interracial/intercultural wedding, first Filipino wedding, etc. We live in San Francisco, but the venues we're considering are all outside of the city but within a 30min-1.5 hour drive (top contenders are in Mill Valley, Piedmont, and Ben Lomond).
Our budget is modest, but a wedding planner is a priority for us so we're willing to make cuts elsewhere to make it happen.
I have a pretty good handle on most stuff and so as much as I'd love a full-service planner, I don't think we can justify the expense. We can research and select major vendors on our own, I have a very clear vision as far as design goes, and we have the time and resources to thrift and DIY most of the decor. The biggest reason I want a planner is to have someone to help me with detail work to make sure I haven't overlooked anything; contact, finalize with, and coordinate with vendors; run the rehearsal; and execute the actual wedding day. From looking around, I'm pretty sure this means I want a partial-service planner--MoC/DoC doesn't seem like quite enough and, like I said, full-service is too much.
With all that in mind, can anyone recommend me some Bay Area wedding planners that do partial-service planning and give me an idea as to their price points?
submitted by FamersOnly to weddingplanning [link] [comments]

2020.09.13 23:14 ArthurDrakoni Review: The Two Princes

This review originally appeared on my blog, and is reproduced here per subreddit rules.
I've said this before, but if I hear a podcast recommended enough, sooner or later I'll take a look at it to see what all the fuss is about. Sometimes I find the shows to be severely overhyped. Other times, however, I discover that the show in question is indeed worthy of all of the praise. The show we'll be taking a look at today falls into that second category. We're taking a look at The Two Princes .
Once upon a time, in a land far, far way, the King of the West and the King of the East faced each other in battle. Both kings wanted their kingdom to dominate the other, but their fighting caused a magical forest to sprout. Ah, but this wasn't one of those happy magical forests. It was a fearsome dangerous place that threatened to consume both the Kingdom of the West and the Kingdom of the East. All hope rests on their two sons. When two princes enter the Hallow of the Two Kings, upon reaching their eighteenth year, one kingdom shall rise, and the curse shall be broken.
Rupert, the Prince of the West, has led a fairly sheltered life. His mother, Queen Lavinia, has filled his life with parties and balls, and his trying her best to get Rupert married off. Rupert, for his part, prefers curling up with the good book, and cares not for the maidens he mother constantly tries to set him up with. Rupert decides that he must venture into the enchanted forest and break the curse. Along the way he meets Amir, Prince of the East, and a skilled fighter and statesman. There's plenty of adventure, comedy, and entertaining times as the two princes race to fulfill their destiny. Along the way, they were discover feeling for each other they never thought possible.
What can I say? I absolutely adore this audio drama. The humor reminds me a bit of the Shrek movies. And I mean that as a compliment. I love all of the Shrek movies and specials. A lot of people do so ironically, but I unironically love them. The Two Princes occasionally pokes fun, in an affectionate way, at various fantasy tropes, and liberally indulges in anachronisms. For example, you have characters who say things like "LOL" and "OMG" despite the setting being vaguely Medieval European. And there's one point where Rupert talks about how he thinks Sam and Diane should get together. It sounds like an anachronistic reference to Cheers, but then it turns out Sam and Diane are servants who work in the castle.
The characters will also often swear in the name various figures from Arthurian Legend, despite living in a separate fantasy world. There's also a point when Rupert nearly get eaten by a carnivorous plant that disguises herself of Flora, the Roman goddess of plants. Well, she never calls herself a Roman goddess, but she does call herself a goddess.
Also, I just love the voice acting. Yes, it is all very well performed, but there's another reason I love it: the accents. I know I'm going to get flack for this, but personally, I get tired of everyone on fantasy having British accents. Give me some American accents! Thankfully, The Two Princes gave me my much longed-for American accents. Oh, there are a couple characters with British accents, but they are minor characters. All the major characters have American accents, and I love The Two Princes for that, among many other reasons.
However, also much like Shrek, The Two Princes more often than not plays the various fantasy tropes perfectly straight, and wholeheartedly embraces them. In fact, The Two Princes is very much a Heroic Fantasy story, but with lots of jokes and character development. Well, that and the interracial gay romance, but we'll talk more about that in a minute.
For now, we need to discuss what exactly Heroic Fantasy is. Heroic Fantasy is the middle ground between High Fantasy and Low Fantasy. There's less focus on geopolitics of different nations, and the setting is mostly there for the heroes to have adventures and quests in. It's also more hopeful and optimistic than Low Fantasy, and the heroes are genuinely heroic. The problems, while serious, tend to be more localized, rather than the potentially world destroying kind you see in High Fantasy. So less Lord of the Rings, and more Dungeons & Dragons, or perhaps Conan the Barbarian. Very closely related to the Sword & Sorcery genre, though that takes a somewhat darker approach.
Our two leads are a study in contrast. Rupert has been sheltered for most of his life, so he isn't much of a fighter. He usually tries to solve his problems with his wits and cunning, but his lack of real-world experience often proves to be a stumbling block. Still, he has his moments. For example, when he and Amir are attacked by a band of traveling thespians, Rupert, with Amir's help, comes up with a plan to disarm the performers. They do so by pretending to be aspiring actors who are looking for constructive criticism of their play, which requires them to use all the weapons the actors have.
By contrast, Amir has been trained to be a prince practically since birth. He's skilled with the sword, but also knows the art of diplomacy and state crafting. He's noble and has a strong sense of honor and duty. He's also kind to the lower classes. For much of the first season, Rupert hides his identity from Amir, pretending to be a thief named Fitzroy. After getting of his initial disgust at "Fitzroy's" choice of career, Amir is shown to treat him with genuine respect, and comes to enjoy Rupert's company.
The feeling is very much mutual. As I have previously mentioned, a big selling point of The Two Princes is that it features Rupert and Amir developing an interracial gay romance. Rupert is white, and Amir...well, it isn't quite clear what race he is. The official series art clearly depicts Amir as non-white, but he could be black, or Indian, maybe Middle Eastern, maybe even some combo thereof. The Kingdom of the East seems to have the same vaguely Medieval European, with some elements of modern-day America, culture as the Kingdom of the West, with perhaps a dash of Middle Eastern for flavor. All that aside, I thought Rupert and Amir's romance was well-written and very cute.
Also, Rupert and Amir have a pet dragon named Porridge. They found him as an egg when they were exploring a cave, and he imprinted on them when he hatched. Rupert has always had a great love of dragons, especially since they were believed to be extinct. Of course, it turns out account of the extinction of dragons were greatly exaggerated. And no, I don't mean just because of Porridge.
In other secondary characters, I loved Sir Joan. She wants to be a knight like her father and grandfather, but her father and the other knights disapproves because she's a girl. Still, she proves herself, and Rupert and Amir's mothers task her with helping them find their sons. She also transforms Rupert's former suitors into an army of badass warriors. I really liked Sir Joan, and I wish she'd gotten more screentime. It might have been nice to have her join Rupert and Amir. Now, I can understand that this might have interfered with the development of their relationship. Oh well, maybe in a future season.
Okay, from this point forward we are going to talk about season two. I should also point out that season two is exclusively available on Spotify. As such, we're going talk about the ending for season one of The Two Princes. So, if you don't want any spoilers, now would probably be a good time to get off the train.
Last chance, you sure you want to continue?
Well, okay, if everyone who wants off is gone, let's begin.
Rupert and Amir make it the Hallow of the Two Kings. Their fathers are still there, but have been twisted into a pair of evil trees. This explains where the mysterious whispers Rupert has been hearing came from
So, Rupert and Amir prepare to do battle, but then Rupert confesses his feeling for Amir. Before long, Amir does the same, and the next thing you know they're kissing. Not long after that the curse is broken, and the forest disappears. Surprise! The prophecy went that one kingdom would rise, because the two kingdoms will be united when Rupert and Amir marry each other. I must admit, I really like how the curse was broken, and the twist of the prophecy. The ending is really heartwarming, and our two princes certainly earned their happily ever after
So, with an excellent first season under its belt, how does The Two Princes handle season two? Quite well, actually. In fact, I'd say it just keeps getting better.
Season two begins with Rupert and Amir preparing for their wedding. They've decided to build their castle between the two kingdoms, right where the Hallow of the Two Kings used to be Unfortunately, Malkia, the former sorceress queen of the Midlands, has come to reclaim her kingdom. Rupert and Amir manage to save the kingdom, but at the cost of Amir getting amnesia. Worse, Malkia is going to return with an army of ghosts to take the kingdom by force. Thankfully, our two princes receive help from a good sorceress, who send the, on a quest to get ingredients from a potion to restore Amir's memories and defeat Malkia.
This season sees Rupert and Amir switch roles. Rupert has to be the proactive one who faces-off against the various threats. Amir, by contrast, has become scared of his own shadow, is easily distracted, and wants to be called Chad. It allows Rupert to grow as a character, while providing moments of comedy with Amir. There are also moments where Rupert questions if it is moral for him to restore Amir's memories. The is presented as a moral dilemma, but I call bullshit. Yes, amnesiac Amir will be gone with Rupert restores his memories, but old Amir will be gone if he doesn't. Why does amnesiac Amir, or Chad as he calls himself, have any more of a right to exist just because he's the one in the driver's seat? Doesn't old Amir get a say? It comes across as a weak attempt at drama, and forced conflict.
Also, at the beginning of the season we learn that the royal baker refuses to make a cake for Rupert and Amir's wedding. And the royal florist also refuses to take part in the wedding. This is clearly mean to be a comment on the gay wedding cake debate, but it falls flat because The Two Princes is not set in our world. Rupert and Amir are, I assume, absolute monarchs. Couldn't they just throw the baker and florist in the dungeon, or threaten to have them beheaded, for refusing to make stuff for the wedding? Granted, both princes are wary about abusing their power because of their fathers, but still.
Thankfully, the moral dilemma doesn't play as big of a role in the plot as I might have made it seem. The quest itself is a lot of fun. One of the ingredients is unicorn horn, so Rupert and Amir travel to a menagerie in the hinterlands. Unfortunately, Rupert discovers that the menagerie was forced to eat its animals because the enchanted forest limited their food supply. And wouldn't you know it, that was the last unicorn in the world. Wow, Rupert and Amir really need to make a magical version of the Environmental Protection Agency. That would be pretty tragic, but what pushed it into comedy was that we're told the unicorn tasted like chicken.
The second item is the song of a siren. The siren they meet, named Lorelei, turns out to be surprisingly nice, and I hope she reappears in future seasons. She tries to seduce Rupert with her song, but it fails because he's gay. Amusingly, it turns out Rupert is the third gay person Lorelei has encountered. I must say that the third ingredient, hydra venom, was very well done. Each of the heads ask Rupert a different riddle, and it was a good opportunity to showcase Rupert's strength as a character.
Also, Sir Joan is back. She spends most of the seasons taking care of things so Rupert and Amir can go on their quest, but she's back all the same. She also has a girlfriend...sort of. Lady Cecily was head-over-heel for Rupert in the first seasons, but now she's got the hots for Sir Joan. This means the series has at least one confirmed bisexual character. For her part, Sir Joan isn't sure what to think of Lady Cecily, but there are hints that she'll come around to her eventually. Lady Cecily was my favorite of Rupert's hopeless suitors, mainly because she was the only one with a clearly defined personality, but still.
Well, I think that's everything of note without spoiling the ending of season two. So, there you have it. The Two Princes is a fun, funny, entertaining heroic fantasy audio drama with a well-written gay romance. Be sure to listen today, you'll be glad that you did. Remember, season two is exclusively available on Spotify.
Link to original post here, though you won’t find anything you didn’t find here:
submitted by ArthurDrakoni to Fantasy [link] [comments]

2020.09.13 11:56 thegreatzimbabwe11 Hobbit friendship

As I mentioned here I'm reading LoTR for my thesis, and while I'm still settling into an exact topic, I've been paying specific attention to the nature of friendships between characters of the same race and interracial characters, as well as the ways in which characters' considerations of the world around them suggests foreboding and a sense of otherness and othering. I'm on the tail end of Fellowship of the Ring and have a few thoughts I'd love to hear feedback on.
-It seems that there are no non-familial same-sex hobbit-hobbit relationships that aren't transactional. This is a qualified statement, to be sure, but in the prologue and throughout the early chapters in the Shire, hobbits writ large expect presents and hospitality out of one another seemingly because that's what's expected of them. Moreover, there is no individual one-on-one friendship between unrelated hobbits in which money (Sam and the Gaffer's being employees of Bilbo and Frodo), age (Bilbo, and later Frodo, and the "younger" hobbits who show interest in them ostensibly for stories and any radiant benefits of wealth), or kinship (Pippin to Frodo).
-Notable exceptions to the friendship rule described above are the few interracial friendships or those shared by people designated as "queer" (of Merry and Pippin, for example, Bucklanders are considered strange in their habits and proclivities from the vantage point of the rest of the Shire). As for the few interracial relationships, there is Bilbo's and Frodo's tentative friendships with Gandalf. I say tentative because, as it turns out, Gandalf is observing the Shire as but one piece in a vast world with many integral movers and shakers against dark forces, so to speak. What's more, Gandalf only refers to any friendship between himself and Bilbo when requesting that Bilbo give up the Ring before he leaves for Rivendell. He says
All your long life we have been friends, and you owe me something.
I read that as Gandalf's invoking the transactional notion and nature of hobbit friendship for the purpose of yielding the ring from Bilbo peacefully, rather than by force.
-All that said, the positive, selfless notions of friendship we tend to espouse are exhibited by hobbits in group settings, at least in the case of the peculiar band of hobbits in "Fellowship." At Crickhollow all of the above observations became even more qualified when I took account of the fact that Fatty Bolger, Sam, Merry and Pippin seem to have nothing to gain (and are aware of this) in the conspiracy to accompany Frodo on the Quest of the One Ring. Of course, between the Bucklander and the Baggins there are hobbits notably exceptional to their cultural norms, so in the event that they're not sufficiently representative it makes their conspiracy all the more extraordinarily brave and selfless. But even if the group could be said to be representative enough of Shirefolk, it goes to show that transactionality of friendships goes out the window in groups.
All this comes from a marathon reading with a bit of a meiopic focus, so if I'm missing anything that comes up in Fellowship or in other texts, I'd love to hear thoughs!
submitted by thegreatzimbabwe11 to lotr [link] [comments]

2020.09.13 10:30 ironheart666 [M4F] Would like to chat/rp with a big titted milf

Hello dirty peoples!
Would like to have some, potentially long term fun. I love milfs and I love big boobs so the two of them together are a match made in heaven! I have always had a huge kink for big tits, don’t ask me why, I just do. So, that being said, I would love to find a big titty milf (or someone willing to play one) to have some dirty roleplay fun. I like women who take control. Cock hungry cougars who will do what ever they have to get what they want.
scenarios I have in mind:
StepMom: its a classic! Horny stepmom who isn’t getting what she needs from her husband so she turns her attention to his son who is home from college on a gap year and who is significantly larger length-wise than her husband. So she makes it her mission to seduce him and see if it’s true that talent skips a generation. Maybe she starts dressing in more revealing clothes around the house. Maybe she begins to be a bit more flirty than normal. Or maybe she does some topless sunbathing and asks him to apply some sunscreen for her. I would initially resist your advances but eventually I succumb to your charms, persistence...and curves. This can be a long-term continuous thing that we can develop over time and engage in different scenarios for the affair. Son’s friend: your son’s friend, on summer vacation from college, comes over to see if he wants to hang only to find is hot horny mother is the only one home and she waists no time in letting him ‘hang out’. Boss’s wife: I am an employee of your dickhead husband who asks me to drop some papers at his house to work at over the weekend. But his hot wife is at home and while he is screwing his secretary at the office, you decide to exact revenge.
These scenarios can also be played out with you as a black milf as well if you prefer. I do have a soft spot for ebony but that is your choice. Also feel free to throw in the occasional pic or gif to help the story, but this is not essential. I am also into incest but I know this isn’t for everyone. If it is, we can modify to suit that need.
What ever you choose I’m sure we can figure out a fun scenario! In terms of writing, I’m not looking for massive essay type responses nor am I expecting one word/sentence exchanges. A detailed 4-5 sentence response will suffice but please put some effort. Don’t want this to be one sided.
Kinks: big tits, milfs, oral, titsex, rough, pussysex, anal, cumshots, creampies, bimbo, hair pulling, light spanking, big butts, interracial Limits: blood, gore, vore, beast, watersports, scat, snuff, toilet stuff, underage, death
I only play on Reddit or kik (pm for username)
So drop me a line and we can flesh out the details and have a lot of fun. Please include a reference picture of your character, just for a nice visual reference.
I look forward to hearing from you!
submitted by ironheart666 to DirtyRedditChat [link] [comments]

2020.09.12 20:24 ironheart666 [M4F] Would like to roleplay with a big titted milf

Hello dirty peoples!
Would like to have some, potentially long term fun. I love milfs and I love big boobs so the two of them together are a match made in heaven! I have always had a huge kink for big tits, don’t ask me why, I just do. So, that being said, I would love to find a big titty milf (or someone willing to play one) to have some dirty roleplay fun. I like women who take control. Cock hungry cougars who will do what ever they have to get what they want.
scenarios I have in mind:
StepMom: its a classic! Horny stepmom who isn’t getting what she needs from her husband so she turns her attention to his son who is home from college on a gap year and who is significantly larger length-wise than her husband. So she makes it her mission to seduce him and see if it’s true that talent skips a generation. Maybe she starts dressing in more revealing clothes around the house. Maybe she begins to be a bit more flirty than normal. Or maybe she does some topless sunbathing and asks him to apply some sunscreen for her. I would initially resist your advances but eventually I succumb to your charms, persistence...and curves. This can be a long-term continuous thing that we can develop over time and engage in different scenarios for the affair. Son’s friend: your son’s friend, on summer vacation from college, comes over to see if he wants to hang only to find is hot horny mother is the only one home and she waists no time in letting him ‘hang out’. Boss’s wife: I am an employee of your dickhead husband who asks me to drop some papers at his house to work at over the weekend. But his hot wife is at home and while he is screwing his secretary at the office, you decide to exact revenge.
These scenarios can also be played out with you as a black milf as well if you prefer. I do have a soft spot for ebony but that is your choice. Also feel free to throw in the occasional pic or gif to help the story, but this is not essential. I am also into incest but I know this isn’t for everyone. If it is, we can modify to suit that need.
What ever you choose I’m sure we can figure out a fun scenario! In terms of writing, I’m not looking for massive essay type responses nor am I expecting one word/sentence exchanges. A detailed 4-5 sentence response will suffice but please put some effort. Don’t want this to be one sided.
Kinks: big tits, milfs, oral, titsex, rough, pussysex, anal, cumshots, creampies, bimbo, hair pulling, light spanking, big butts, interracial Limits: blood, gore, vore, beast, watersports, scat, snuff, toilet stuff, underage, death
I only play on Reddit or kik (pm for username)
So drop me a line and we can flesh out the details and have a lot of fun. Please include a reference picture of your character, just for a nice visual reference.
I look forward to hearing from you!
submitted by ironheart666 to DirtyRedditChat [link] [comments]

2020.09.12 17:13 SquashGordo I resent my parents and I don't know what to do.

I (20 F) don't think I like my parents. I've begun to resent them. The fact I'm thinking this makes me feel like a terrible person, and I wish I could let things go, but I just can't. I'm in college, still living with them, and if I could move out, I would. I'm not troublesome, I follow their rules and I don't do any risky behaviors they're against. But I can't talk to them about anything, they always try to pick apart my words and criticize me. My parents are extremely judgemental of people before even getting to know them. They don't care to get to know either my or my brother's loves, who are both great to us, and my dad even makes remarks about my boyfriend because he's jewish. They didn't even help my brother and his girlfriend move into their apartment; while her family gave them tons of furniture, kitchenware and helped them bring everything in, my parents didn't even care to show up until a few days later.
They don't care about my mental health, I finally told them this month that I attempted suicide 3 times in the past, and that ended with my mom screaming at me and telling me it was a chore to listen to my problems, and my dad just said that wasn't relevant to what was happening now. My mother also yelled at me, when I confided in her that I was worried my friend may have been raped or at least coerced, that she wasn't dragged into the street and beaten and raped, and that she didn't scream so I shouldn't make a big deal about it. After that I was so disgusted by her I left home for a week to live with my brother, and she never even told my dad what happened. Now they both are just acting like none of it happened and like everything's normal, but I'm still distressed by everything that's happened this month.
They also, for as long as I can remember, made fun of me for my interests. I admit I'm into nerdier material, like anime (not the sexual stuff), art and novels, but I'm not obnoxious about it or anything. I can't even watch a show I like on the tv without my dad standing over me, making comments about how stupid it is and when am I going to grow up? Or reading a book and having him call me a dork. Or walking into my room and scrutinizing everything interest-related, only to act condescending about a particular item I have. It's hard to explain, but I've gotten to the point where I actively avoid doing any of my hobbies around them.
My mother is very religious, a Baptist teacher, and knows I'm an atheist. It took years for her to stop giving me pamphlets and trying to convert me back. But she's told me to my face that I now have no moral grounding, as that comes from god, and that atheists are prone to be evil so I need to be careful. Any time I'm having a bad day, or tell her I'm struggling with an issue or mental health, she either A. Quotes some scripture and tells me that god solves her problems, B. Acts like I'm looking for attention by bringing up my mental issues or C. Tells me to smile because I'll feel better. It is very rarely that I come to either of them with my problems. She's also told me that she loves god more than me. An imaginary figure (to me) more than her own daughter, and it hurt me a lot. I have friends who are religious, and I enjoy their company. But it's totally different with my mom.
Another issue I have with them is political. I'm not a hugely political person, and I lean left, but I think I'm pretty tolerant of people's views. The problem with my parents is they make it their whole personality. They love Trump. I don't, but it would be fine if they didn't interject it into everything. It's almost scary to me how devoted they are. And they make signs and coasters that say " MAGA" and "make liberals cry again" and things of the sort. They listen to nothing but Fox News and anything else is "Fake News". It's impossible to talk with them about anything political even if I agree with them on some things, because they just close off.
My parents don't really have any interests or hobbies outside of that, unless you count NASCAR. I'm sorry, they're just really boring and it's frustrating. It's either political forums, the news or NASCAR, and for my mom, church, as hobbies.
They are both openly homophobic, with my mom even proudly giving herself the title of homophobe, and my dad told my relatives once that had my brother been "a fag, god forbid, I don't know what we would have done". This is problematic to me because I have gay friends, and my parents are disgusted by homosexuality, and they aren't quiet about it. I know they judge me for my friend choices, but it just makes me sad that I can't bring my friends around the house and I don't even want my straight friends to get to know them.
They are also pretty racist. My mom argues with me that the civil war was not even mainly about keeping slavery, it was about "state's rights" keep slaves. My dad uses terms like Blackie, spick, beaner, kike and Negro often in my company. And not particularly jokingly, just because he can. My best friend is mixed race and my dad, when he found out her dad was black and her mom white, tried to argue with me about how interracial couples are unhealthy and black people and Mexicans give white people's children extra disease when they mix. If construction workers are anywhere in our area, my dad will say "watch out for them Mexicans working over there, you don't know what they'll do".
Normally I wouldn't use terms like racist or homophobic lightly, but I know my parents and that's just how it looks to me.
My parents don't abuse me, I don't think, my dad has only slapped me a couple times. But I've grown to resent them and I don't know if I'm being unreasonable. I know no one's perfect, but I can't even tell if they care, it feels like they're stuck in their own bubble and they refuse to change. In addition I find a lot of things they say gross or hurtful.
If I bring up any issues I have with them they get defensive, and my dad will say "find another place to live then". I would, but I'm broke. I think I love my parents, but I can't talk to them about anything.
This turned out more like a rant, so I apologize. I just wish I could come to them for support, or advice, or just to chat, but I can't. I don't know if there's anything I can do about this, or if I should just try to distance myself. Thanks for reading.
submitted by SquashGordo to offmychest [link] [comments]

2020.09.12 00:25 tokyodriftz33 Posted this in a subreddit called blackladies and got nothing but hatred. I went completely off. It’s 2020 and why are people still turning their nose up when it’s a interracial couple mainly black, white or Hispanic? Shit makes me so upset! But whatever I love my baby boy

submitted by tokyodriftz33 to interracialdating [link] [comments]

2020.09.11 18:18 throwaway437282 Sometimes I feel that white supremacists don’t want black people to have a “strong black family”. How do I reconcile this with growing up and living in a majority white country?

First off I apologise for this very sensitive and charged question, I just want to have honest advice and dialogue
I have no problem with white people whatsoever, I have had very good childhood white friends and I personally have dated white girls too
However now when it concerns something as serious as marriage, I feel so much pressure to choose the “right” mate. And since half of my family is black and I am black passing despite being biracial (half black, half brown).
I feel a lot of pressure to marry a black woman, despite being also attracted to white women and living in a majority white country?
Even if I married a black woman, my family would prefer if I had an arranged marriage to a woman from my tribe? As they want to preserve their tribe because they experienced a genocide in their home country because of being dark skinned. Which was perpetrated by more lighter skinned and mixed people
This is why it is seen as me betraying my tribe if I marry outside of it?
It’s the genocide my tribe experienced that makes it hard for me if I end up in an interracial marriage?
Thing is, if it wasn’t for my family or other pro black people, I would have no problem marrying a white person
But sometimes I kind of wonder whether genuine outright white supremacists don’t want me to marry a black woman or preserve my tribe, because they would rather have less full black people in their majority white countries rather than more?
If I live in a majority white country, isn’t it likely that if I have mixed children, that my children will then further also intermarry with more white people and that the sense of blackness in my family would be bred out and become more white over the generations?
Again, please keep in mind, I have no problem with white people, but I have these questions sometimes
Because I know that white supremacists are against interracial marriages because they view it as genocide against white people and “tainting” the white race
But on the other hand, doesn’t interracial marriage just work in white peoples favour because of the country already being majority white and that your children might likely also marry other white people?
The issue with the black community is that the “black family” is only largely preserved by first generation immigrants, second generation immigrant black peoples don’t seem likely to hold onto a “black family” and marriage?
I hate how political marriage seems and just want to marry the person I love, whether they are black, white, Asian etc.
But this does make me wonder, do white suoremacists really hate interracial marriage or do they actually don’t want black families to thrive in marriage?
Sorry if any of this has offended or rubbed people the wrong way, it’s just something I’ve wondered sometimes and wanted to see what people’s opinions are on it.
Isn’t this what Brazil did with trying to “whiten” the population by promoting interracial marriages in order to dilute the blackness of the population over time? I understand that it was the government of colonial Brazil that promoted this, but I still have suspicions that white supremacists would want this despite protesting about interracial marriages?
TL/DR: I have sometimes wondered whether white supremacists aren’t actually afraid of interracial marriage, because even though it “destroys” ethnic and cultural purity for both white and black people. If black people live in a majority white country, their mixed children are likely to marry another white person and then make that black person’s lineage white?
So which one is it for white supremacists? Is interracial marriage the problem or do they not want black peoples to marry and have a “strong black family” in order to bring more black people in their majority white country?
I know this might sound all sorts of paranoid and conspiracy minded, but it’s just a thought and I genuinely have no problem against white people
submitted by throwaway437282 to LifeAdvice [link] [comments]

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